{"product_id":"sorry-your-basic-needs-require-premium-tee","title":"Sorry, Your Basic Needs Require Premium Tee","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-size:15px;line-height:1.65;\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou have reached the limits of the free existence plan.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA suited vulture guards a locked water tap while a small jester waits with a cup beneath “Sorry, Your Basic Needs Require Premium.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eNeed help choosing a size?\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck the available colors and sizes above. For garment measurements, \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/contact\"\u003eContact the Court\u003c\/a\u003e before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; delivery\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour shirt is made after you order, then shipped. Timing varies by destination, production capacity, and shipping method. Check available shipping options and charges at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"\/policies\/shipping-policy\"\u003eRead shipping \u0026amp; delivery\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eReturns \u0026amp; order issues\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo routine returns or exchanges for a change of mind or choosing the wrong size or color. For damaged, defective, incorrect, or incomplete items, contact us within 30 days of delivery. Your rights under applicable law are unaffected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003eRead the full returns policy\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eMore from the Fool\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe jester requested water. The attendant explained that water was an enhanced feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe basic plan included thirst, a helpful notification, and the opportunity to upgrade. Customer satisfaction was measured by whether the cup remained empty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sharp cartoon about necessities treated like luxury extras. For people who have noticed that the sales pitch gets stranger when opting out is not really an option. Terms apply. Apparently to everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLong Live the Fool.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"sovereignfool","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50852652712193,"sku":"baa8fc76-54ce-4ef5-bf78-8ca0dc36d596","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50852652744961,"sku":"21f6b98d-70e4-4b72-a48b-5b23f31568b2","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50852652777729,"sku":"dd41cf50-b52c-4f00-ba24-5bd291e0d857","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50852652810497,"sku":"ed87a6b8-a9de-4011-8cef-9ae9372df3b4","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852652843265,"sku":"bbfcc4b3-cccf-4e04-8592-799f61d98d5d","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852652876033,"sku":"7af27a88-c1c9-4666-8dae-08bd2ca7cc80","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":50852652908801,"sku":"f5035166-4351-4055-8d75-18336db62a41","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":50852652941569,"sku":"f5cf4931-b3a3-4f33-ab3f-d1990ab5f624","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":50852652974337,"sku":"ebc1b908-1179-4dfc-92c1-e3d915480f1a","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":50852653007105,"sku":"280ad2f5-de91-42f1-a240-8c5b991cc6a3","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653039873,"sku":"18b26be1-c41e-4fa4-8c12-6b1fae2e9a8b","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852653072641,"sku":"48696448-3027-4e87-b34f-a224bdf2a846","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ S","offer_id":50852653105409,"sku":"6e932e0b-2ac3-42d1-860b-bcf3ff8891d9","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ M","offer_id":50852653138177,"sku":"6a1b4ee7-355b-4d9f-8c89-aeb2158cd206","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ L","offer_id":50852653170945,"sku":"b1fe7fde-510f-4c1e-8054-06abce935ed3","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ XL","offer_id":50852653203713,"sku":"b1c1fdb4-9fb2-455a-92dc-85af1e76dced","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653236481,"sku":"9bd4d979-7335-4426-af6b-57c471b8f370","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Daisy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852653269249,"sku":"42485b7c-c50b-442a-9f2b-3b9a100caf4d","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ S","offer_id":50852653302017,"sku":"57ce298c-7f46-444d-8597-01cf7a52c546","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ M","offer_id":50852653334785,"sku":"1ee2b2c4-ec30-43ca-8678-9bc201166d73","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ L","offer_id":50852653367553,"sku":"163b5209-3a81-4b5b-bc53-0cacfe507c19","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ XL","offer_id":50852653400321,"sku":"fe9615d1-b6e1-43f9-bc48-9b7903f87236","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653433089,"sku":"eba1c076-150a-4b94-8f1c-dbb508180b09","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50852653465857,"sku":"bd7b9c6a-67cc-4cc8-a9da-d545999321ae","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50852653498625,"sku":"9177ae44-8d34-4bc5-9def-2c7ec5a3132b","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50852653531393,"sku":"daf7aa7f-cbbf-4438-89a3-cb3ce25851a0","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50852653564161,"sku":"c73c4d32-0f14-4424-980d-c8880cfeaa99","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653596929,"sku":"b0969624-9f92-49c7-af1b-b4b46d29a330","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852653629697,"sku":"feb73eab-df88-4e16-befb-27bb1317c871","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ S","offer_id":50852653662465,"sku":"996f9e5d-80c1-4069-8410-e7aae56f2225","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ M","offer_id":50852653695233,"sku":"cd3f79fb-bd5b-4897-8f15-98e4c7db2d32","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ L","offer_id":50852653728001,"sku":"8883c77c-df7a-488d-b26e-1566470476b5","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ XL","offer_id":50852653760769,"sku":"96d60f8f-86c2-4c99-8599-8001155e9b59","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653793537,"sku":"9e209d5c-605a-44c4-9288-7b88078946c8","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852653826305,"sku":"a5ca3f4e-abba-45fc-8127-fbb4ca9ee05c","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ S","offer_id":50852653859073,"sku":"2c252af8-0bfc-47ab-afc2-d139fd355e76","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ M","offer_id":50852653891841,"sku":"a9c17c4e-059c-428d-a158-320350d3fba6","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ L","offer_id":50852653924609,"sku":"21360700-d810-4c91-bf16-ed2d3e5fd8b8","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ XL","offer_id":50852653957377,"sku":"b6760a20-4285-459d-bf03-e825e773bb7d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852653990145,"sku":"8f71819c-6103-4230-ae1f-eb8e524ca232","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852654022913,"sku":"8a9ec08b-e2b7-4447-b6fd-12fcad3bcf08","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":50852654055681,"sku":"d80de4ef-2113-4f8b-85a1-5a279b6d3906","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":50852654088449,"sku":"9c9fe25c-50e4-4a81-85a9-aecae58d01d2","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":50852654121217,"sku":"f40e3f87-a7bb-456e-bcdf-2a85b4db811c","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":50852654153985,"sku":"726fd836-e7b4-449a-acce-2840d94c8a7c","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852654186753,"sku":"5325a2e6-aac4-4e59-a007-c25b17b0faef","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852654219521,"sku":"bc9d9982-8882-4cba-8e47-d31437f7e6ba","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":50852654252289,"sku":"76a9f042-4057-4fc1-93a6-d990fffd41bb","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":50852654285057,"sku":"28ac41d2-85ab-40bd-9f91-5397a1e65b12","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":50852654317825,"sku":"91766e52-7958-4564-97a2-6c4994054499","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50852654350593,"sku":"32258284-4f2e-409b-96c3-20270e085293","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852654383361,"sku":"2ae31ff1-0061-401a-868a-f93876fa1428","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852654416129,"sku":"de80c742-2ea9-485a-af96-9456f6b701cf","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ S","offer_id":50852654448897,"sku":"7168e9c3-9ded-4f18-9244-91d34105bef1","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ M","offer_id":50852654481665,"sku":"5751bcb8-0987-46d9-b459-81597ea20092","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ L","offer_id":50852654514433,"sku":"6fb52038-2bb3-43d2-bc13-ade82224a528","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ XL","offer_id":50852654547201,"sku":"d84951fa-ffc0-4073-979e-ca2351394bc5","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852654579969,"sku":"32f74b12-8e91-436e-8a1f-72b56f320732","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852654612737,"sku":"97f103a6-ef92-43ff-9507-9eebbbe265c5","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":50852654645505,"sku":"c8728e72-886d-4cbc-9b9f-7f258bea6523","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":50852654678273,"sku":"2b8fcbb9-d767-43ac-9043-b02c2a23fdf1","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":50852654711041,"sku":"8cefbb5b-e668-4da0-9000-5b73d9dc0de8","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":50852654743809,"sku":"7626f46c-c0fe-42d0-86b0-f512fb8fcbd9","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852654776577,"sku":"2459191a-5bf3-4b49-8dcc-c546170fbce8","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852654809345,"sku":"5130521a-0342-4d5c-8bfd-278c2947280c","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":50852654842113,"sku":"3ee3f541-2625-4da1-8883-3126271d7590","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ M","offer_id":50852654874881,"sku":"10126833-e2d6-4197-b708-ec0e850b1c50","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ L","offer_id":50852654907649,"sku":"25d00048-19c6-48c8-a75c-902b2a7d901d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XL","offer_id":50852654940417,"sku":"96f3515b-9a41-436f-b867-16a834f20697","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852654973185,"sku":"e6cee8e8-cbb0-4c2b-97a5-2bab380e29c2","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852655005953,"sku":"c745bd01-38a1-49b1-a3bd-3e60efca724f","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":50852655038721,"sku":"4a1d7b88-9c8f-4079-90a3-ca32fb1a48e6","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":50852655071489,"sku":"532da16a-c213-477f-b260-58d591f0880d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":50852655104257,"sku":"bcb1f200-6d0a-4bef-9b38-5611d39ec5bb","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":50852655137025,"sku":"73189113-0bc0-440d-8c94-b39dbb19ef56","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852655169793,"sku":"8d874c40-1906-4d9f-a890-c33d6bddd6ff","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852655202561,"sku":"e1e6d9ce-4318-4dfe-9e62-1946cb5db927","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ S","offer_id":50852655235329,"sku":"24651e80-b072-45b7-85dd-e85953e22977","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ M","offer_id":50852655268097,"sku":"7d95ec46-4cb7-4f7c-8417-974374feafe6","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ L","offer_id":50852655300865,"sku":"c76efaea-a9bd-4cec-81fe-791d2f3b96c2","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ XL","offer_id":50852655333633,"sku":"e566ce51-6577-422a-aef0-4e6e4eb15d1a","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852655366401,"sku":"2da69f59-f6e5-4895-879f-261d9e72ec1f","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852655399169,"sku":"2929f9f8-1601-4379-93db-05e44bcb6f90","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":50852655431937,"sku":"47c05225-3fa9-45dd-a396-42218a03fd5b","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":50852655464705,"sku":"dd4e2918-e587-41a7-a759-cfdc482b7c56","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":50852655497473,"sku":"8530e5f1-12e8-4246-bfd2-fc453f945f74","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":50852655530241,"sku":"10a67d5d-50e2-4527-bb4e-91ea7bf90cf7","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852655563009,"sku":"7f20fd2c-e58c-4871-9e38-78f8944b19ab","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852655595777,"sku":"23cb4575-f9f7-46ba-97cf-b48db87d2b4b","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50852655628545,"sku":"790bf0db-43ae-49b0-8394-7a3d7ded3d4a","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50852655661313,"sku":"3ef8f4e0-dba0-4b14-85be-2f617b931120","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50852655694081,"sku":"c52fb421-e39f-426f-adff-a34122aac3a8","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50852655726849,"sku":"c8ef6b9e-1787-4150-a2dd-a22eabd0905d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50852655759617,"sku":"493d08b3-49ba-45e8-9600-30ca2b201c10","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50852655792385,"sku":"cee10591-874a-4f89-b9bf-78defc8b3cc7","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0693\/5868\/2369\/files\/01f11d5c-e797-4b13-902a-27f3e03064a4.jpg?v=1792477546","url":"https:\/\/sovereignfool.com\/products\/sorry-your-basic-needs-require-premium-tee","provider":"SovereignFool","version":"1.0","type":"link"}