{"product_id":"need-this-3","title":"Impossible Keeps Getting Declassified — Alien Tee","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-size:15px;line-height:1.65;\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYesterday’s impossible. Today’s paperwork.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAn alien pores over classified-looking files beneath “Strange How ‘Impossible’ Keeps Getting Declassified.” Cosmic satire for curious minds and anyone who enjoys a suspiciously well-timed document release.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eNeed help choosing a size?\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eCheck the available colors and sizes above. For garment measurements, \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/contact\"\u003eContact the Court\u003c\/a\u003e before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; delivery\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour shirt is made after you order, then shipped. Timing varies by destination, production capacity, and shipping method. Check available shipping options and charges at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"\/policies\/shipping-policy\"\u003eRead shipping \u0026amp; delivery\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eReturns \u0026amp; order issues\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo routine returns or exchanges for a change of mind or choosing the wrong size or color. For damaged, defective, incorrect, or incomplete items, contact us within 30 days of delivery. Your rights under applicable law are unaffected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003eRead the full returns policy\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003cdetails style=\"border-top:1px solid #d6b65c;padding:16px 0;\"\u003e\u003csummary style=\"cursor:pointer;font-weight:600;list-style:disclosure-closed;display:list-item;\"\u003eMore from the Fool\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe official position was clear: impossible. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the filing cabinet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow an alien is working through the paperwork, the stamp pad is running dry, and the Department of Absolutely Nothing to See Here has scheduled another meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith red lettering, a declassified stamp motif, and a stack of secret-looking documents, this design turns the gap between certainty and curiosity into a cosmic office comedy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo claim of extraterrestrial proof is included. Just a reminder that a confident answer and a complete answer are not always the same thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKeep asking questions. Even the filing cabinet has layers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLong Live the Fool.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"sovereignfool","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50767254913281,"sku":"4b130257-1dc2-4cfc-86c2-aa1afcbc21cf","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50767254946049,"sku":"b3035e63-56bf-42d9-b2d5-881eaaec8a57","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50767254978817,"sku":"26acf672-8caf-4629-a8cf-f6f9e5b0a798","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50767255011585,"sku":"d44faf9d-37e8-4ae2-a40a-c481a4dfbf2e","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255044353,"sku":"1c0df8f8-804a-4c04-814e-d2e9e47fe85d","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767255077121,"sku":"bc8eb34b-a913-4cd2-adc7-e8110e943eb8","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":50767255109889,"sku":"9c31ee5d-7fc7-4c87-8f4f-9b3a1d669f71","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":50767255142657,"sku":"1dec0afa-8c24-40af-bb85-b7d0fa7cb211","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":50767255175425,"sku":"b446665d-ce9b-4e88-92cc-fe1cd29315ca","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":50767255208193,"sku":"4681df46-5be0-461d-872c-ff1b641a4c67","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255240961,"sku":"94e58369-9c4d-4cb6-8a00-fa5b0ac33a9e","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767255273729,"sku":"ba21c429-6d66-478b-b2b0-5a48380c379a","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ S","offer_id":50767255306497,"sku":"96ba1693-fdb8-4537-8a60-3125f2bd36a0","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ M","offer_id":50767255339265,"sku":"8e3ccca8-72e8-4c19-b7fc-d32bb8ff5309","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ L","offer_id":50767255372033,"sku":"5e1d01c6-396f-41c6-a429-4b2725823b7e","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ XL","offer_id":50767255404801,"sku":"7952c71b-fd94-4fbe-996a-5f0aef353f19","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255437569,"sku":"572c72f4-5c7b-4776-bf3a-344e41c64398","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50767255470337,"sku":"65c89298-b641-4be0-9fb6-58f0e38b849d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50767255503105,"sku":"9517d5b0-cf4c-4a63-914b-60b959cedb39","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50767255535873,"sku":"ad5061ce-4a69-4d34-b3a9-b373dc08563f","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50767255568641,"sku":"ff4ce032-a072-46a1-b6ab-cf595b7836f5","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255601409,"sku":"a62f5cc0-1ffa-4751-83f5-3304be9c256d","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rs Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767255634177,"sku":"3d0c6575-ad6c-4d33-9be6-df47110c030d","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ S","offer_id":50767255666945,"sku":"e4ec7169-2cc2-491c-83dc-e204a0234d5f","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ M","offer_id":50767255699713,"sku":"8853e0ce-cd29-4ecc-b54d-137cc3d8f0d5","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ L","offer_id":50767255732481,"sku":"06806078-2b86-4a7e-8568-7b89ced299b5","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ XL","offer_id":50767255765249,"sku":"bb4a939f-a07c-46a6-a78a-b9147be78eec","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255798017,"sku":"ffd7ab88-94cb-472c-b869-5b83d3833d23","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767255830785,"sku":"6d51d026-d8ee-4a1f-80c1-af01f7812098","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ S","offer_id":50767255863553,"sku":"f18e0c5a-e340-459b-a549-981509c441ab","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ M","offer_id":50767255896321,"sku":"e3a0181c-1606-4e9e-918c-dd1ecec382e0","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ L","offer_id":50767255929089,"sku":"1b54ec60-af45-4c00-a42e-e7cf3153f897","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ XL","offer_id":50767255961857,"sku":"2476810b-321c-4871-b9bc-fcc46c1572f4","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767255994625,"sku":"ccbd40c2-7d91-4b13-a1a5-0ad4d2757689","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767256027393,"sku":"9e928e1f-b5f0-4fd5-b188-8deec6b166f0","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":50767256060161,"sku":"92213042-7ef8-484f-a875-34a7aca68840","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":50767256092929,"sku":"0d23f0f5-d70c-47fc-838d-1562270cd01d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":50767256125697,"sku":"ea74ee81-7b8f-49db-9990-ab00fbb5ef05","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":50767256158465,"sku":"c0958892-ef16-4fe2-9ea6-a035e008bda3","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767256191233,"sku":"f34557ce-0b92-4b36-b5ff-2547ef65902f","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767256224001,"sku":"0f5496fe-b840-477f-a0a4-0376543ef636","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":50767256256769,"sku":"f8f59902-9f2a-4600-80c1-f5e3484fa676","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":50767256289537,"sku":"f6396097-1342-434e-aec8-53f9057751fb","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":50767256322305,"sku":"57063db7-8b6f-4776-b9e0-92d8fd4e0ba0","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50767256355073,"sku":"0a68036b-ffc2-4d0e-9e12-fa421e1b045c","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767256387841,"sku":"5440d149-c29b-4354-af55-a1f7c9a49ea9","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767256420609,"sku":"ecf9ada1-f509-4fb0-bb57-d0f7c783d436","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ S","offer_id":50767256453377,"sku":"200d05d9-2680-4d62-97f4-e226927e058b","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ M","offer_id":50767256486145,"sku":"678ab05c-93e6-4520-a21f-7a91346fc7b0","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ L","offer_id":50767256518913,"sku":"d703bcec-8a25-4f7d-b740-6f6758822b20","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ XL","offer_id":50767256551681,"sku":"38dd00f9-a344-4512-9ae0-4f7f427f430b","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767256584449,"sku":"8fe73fa5-0c2d-454d-a65a-e71ceff9f97b","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767256617217,"sku":"72ca9d2a-dca6-4816-ad82-5a62c994c39e","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":50767256649985,"sku":"dfbf2514-1ee8-452f-b6e3-f23566740efc","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":50767256682753,"sku":"adf0410e-d0ce-4d7b-bd06-bb511d6071a3","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":50767256715521,"sku":"dcb28e10-b6eb-4261-b1a5-be35769e773d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":50767256748289,"sku":"d6c082e5-3f2f-41a0-9bde-e54b6191e49c","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767256781057,"sku":"e313e664-eff1-4f1d-9d14-7cdac9ef7e87","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767256813825,"sku":"d57fe847-58c3-43da-8626-b8e7537967f7","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":50767256846593,"sku":"1ee53029-61d2-4f1e-a073-3597a5286d79","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ M","offer_id":50767256879361,"sku":"d26585c9-5346-451c-a626-7134ca306e2d","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ L","offer_id":50767256912129,"sku":"cde6e98f-6e1f-43f8-9ca0-bb58e5e52896","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XL","offer_id":50767256944897,"sku":"b760fcf8-6f00-4963-a626-c740473dd4f4","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767256977665,"sku":"d968318d-440e-4494-90bb-bb4c894d6f26","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767257010433,"sku":"03af0c93-6fc1-4032-8ddf-56fd866aad0c","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ S","offer_id":50767257043201,"sku":"e6a225aa-bfb6-46f3-928a-cc140f92344e","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ M","offer_id":50767257075969,"sku":"e3fce9e9-dbe9-4cba-a757-b4b17dcf7c1e","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ L","offer_id":50767257108737,"sku":"5354b0ac-18e5-4f2d-be9c-b20e9547c841","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ XL","offer_id":50767257141505,"sku":"ddecda20-5421-4c84-8cbf-a115128c9364","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767257174273,"sku":"f9cc870e-9549-49fd-8ef6-04500f7a5da2","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767257207041,"sku":"9870e8c8-ddc7-48d3-89b5-e2385d9bec98","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":50767257239809,"sku":"d2b0f8c4-3e8b-4b57-aa89-7ac84dc232f9","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":50767257272577,"sku":"f94e3065-a294-4782-9439-90d753268925","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":50767257305345,"sku":"f628e10e-2697-4cea-b8de-21588d4aac82","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":50767257338113,"sku":"f5b6d105-ec2e-4afd-a73b-a9656b0835aa","price":15.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":50767257370881,"sku":"ae0879ad-73b1-4934-b67c-aee171f7ca3d","price":19.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":50767257403649,"sku":"60b2cc07-185e-4a05-80f3-ab500bb1c235","price":22.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0693\/5868\/2369\/files\/27b095aa-9a09-45b4-8fe3-bfcb635e0f02.jpg?v=1792173839","url":"https:\/\/sovereignfool.com\/products\/need-this-3","provider":"SovereignFool","version":"1.0","type":"link"}